Comment by Emore
15 years ago
I've thought about this a lot. Say you really manage to live in such a way that you won't have these regrets. Wouldn't you, then, regret not pursuing a career? Or the thrill and excitement of climbing a ladder (hey, just putting it out there)? Not to mention that the "fulfilling your own dreams" regret is probably impossible to avoid by merely fulfilling your dreams.
I would love to hear the regrets of people that have lived a life in such a way that they don't have these modern regrets.
Yes, you're right, assuming that fulfilling your dream is not compatible with pursuing your career.
After working two post-college years at a top software company, I quit the cushy life and lived life by trial and error and my plans only went as far as 3 months ahead. 11 years later I still don't know which country I'll be living or working out of within the next 3 months.
Yes I did start to regret losing out on some of the structure, discipline, and optimal professional self-improvement path of living the life that society hands you. I feel I have the experience of a guy 6 years my junior. On the other hand, I know more about myself than my peers because I tried so many things and tested myself under so many different environments.
Looking back, I don't think I would have made a different choice but I would spent my leaves (from the typical path) a lot more directed and focused. I think I could have learned about life and myself in a quicker way just by doing things instead of just being.
But of course, learning to be -- and breaking automatic habits of action -- is the key to being happy as well.
As you guessed, there is no right or best answer.
But again, if your career and your dreams are one and the same, then this one dimension could be resolved.
The problem is this assumes you are able to predict now what a later version of yourself will regret later, which isn't possible. Every decision creates a different you which will value different things. A path that he takes now because of his imagined future no-regret prediction may have prevented him from taking a path from which he would have ended up learning something much more, which would have a completely changed his judgements about what he would regret. No-regret is a good aspect of making decisions, but he might want to through in a few principles and values into the mix as well.