Comment by lionhearted

> After a while, you start to subscribe to what I call the Groucho Marx rule. You stop attending any event which would have you as a participant.

I ideally like to be the stupidest and least informed person in any room that I'm in. At the very least, not the smartest. Continually looking for groups of people that are challenging and stimulating to be around means very fast learning and growth. But, I think most people prefer the opposite - they'd rather be the star, or at least mostly on par with everyone else.

Admittedly, it's hard. I had a mentor of mine invite me on a cruise. Now, that's the kind of frilly thing I'd never buy a ticket to on my own, but I like being around good people. So, I went - and man, it's not fun being gently corrected on how to hold a fork because I was out of touch with the etiquette. Hold the fork upside down? What?

Embarrassing, but you gotta learn it somewhere if you run in crowds that care about that sort of thing...

Don't get me wrong - I also like to help people, take time to answer questions, be available for people who reach out, give back, pay it forwards. But I think taking the attitude of trying to be the most humble, hard working, and least gifted person among a group of people means very fast absorbing of lessons, though admittedly at the expense of constant amounts of little mistakes and embarrassments.

Edit: I should add - I think thoughtful new members are necessary to prevent evaporative cooling - by introducing new points of view and asking questions that people haven't thought about in a long time. Normally two very successful members of a community won't have a discussion about the fundamentals, but might really enjoy each other's points when talking to a third person asking smart, good questions.