Comment by blowski
6 years ago
For me, screwing up, admitting it and saying sorry is one of the best things you can do for your kids. Teaches them they don’t have to be perfect.
6 years ago
For me, screwing up, admitting it and saying sorry is one of the best things you can do for your kids. Teaches them they don’t have to be perfect.
I go out of my way to tell my child when I don't know something or was wrong. Then I go out of my way to show them how I learn that fact or right the wrong, if I can. They learn very quickly and deeply by following your example.
This lead to a whole year of every car ride starting with, "Daddy, are you sure you know where you're going?". Kids also have a way of reminding you of every failure you ever made and never letting you live it down.
If you have a sense of humor, that's fine. They aren't trying to hurt you; they are trying to understand the world and contribute to it and be important. These are all good things. And kids get obsessive about their fad hobbies, but it passes. If they are spending too much of their energy on easy problems, give them harder problems. Like another commenter said, give them the map and ask them to tell you where to go.
My youngest of 3 is now 32 years old. I've recently been thinking about the oft heard "I'm always amazed by the things my grown children remember and the things they don't". I've been trying to discover why they remember things I've forgotten, why that moment was so important to their young lives. We've started to talk about it, trying to find the base so they can use the lesson in their own child rearing.
My response to this question or to "Are we there yet?" has always been, "Yep, we've arrived! Hop out!"
Best delivered while the car is still at speed for maximum frustration. (Also best when the mood is already light.)
"here's the map, check for yourself"
I totally agree, it's hard to do in the moment but really allows you to connect with your child once you have time to reflect. For anyone looking for parenting inspiration and wisdom I really enjoyed watching this (long) interview with author and therapist Philippa Perry (starts about 8 minutes in) : https://youtu.be/UuQsIxS6UiI
I still remember, my mom hit me exactly once, and then apologized. That was very powerful.