Comment by jd78

There are lots of good child psychology books out there. Pick one up. "Non-violent Communication" helped me a lot. It will simplify the issues. It's not about blaming the kid or blaming yourself, but learning ways to shift focus away from blame/judgement to needs.

Small changes in the way you use language help make such mental shifts possible. The positive outcomes make you want to do them more and more. I wish I had learnt this stuff at a younger age though.

My wife constantly reminds me that what I learnt from how to deal with my kid, has made me deal with adults way better. So there is that advantage too :)