Comment by Razengan
7 years ago
> The nicer you state your messages the more people will listen to you.
> The meaner messages you can stomach the more information is accessible to you.
• From the receiver's view:
Meanness implies conflict. It evokes threat, defense, flight.
Those are instinctive responses to an intent of attack. Suppressing those requires non-zero effort.
• On the other hand, from the mean person's view:
They are experiencing impatience or frustration with something they want to change.
Suppressing that requires non-zero effort.
It all comes down to who can put more effort into suppressing their instinctual responses at a given moment.
The non-sexy answer here is human interaction is almost always a negotiation. Sometimes being a little harsh is what the other party needs to hear. However in the wrong circumstance, it can turn people needlessly against your message... or, at worst, destroy your relationship with others. It's the same thing with being (overly) kind.
Tl;dr human interactions are complex and require emotional and situational awareness to maximize effectiveness.
Yes, and the state of people at any given time is a result of their recent interactions.
If I recently spoke to someone Harmfully Harsh, I will not be receptive to someone who is being Beneficially Harsh.
You cannot know the internal state of someone, so it does no harm to take that into consideration when interacting with them.