Comment by teekert
6 years ago
I think you would be a difficult person to work with if you get offended by that one little word. I understand that it can be annoying to be asked repeatedly but just work on an elevator pitch to explain why you didn't use X. You might even earn some respect in the process. The way you act now will "just" (sorry!) make people feel like that have to walk on eggs around you and handle your brittle mood with silk gloves. Next time they will ask someone else.
I am usually pretty patient with people and generally don’t get offended. In this particular case we had worked very hard on that problem for a long time. This project was highly visible so everybody knew what’s going on.
I think people (I tend to do that too) should think twice before giving unsolicited advice and make sure they have thought about the problem for a while and have something of value to offer. Otherwise it signals a lack of respect.
Respect is such a culturally dependent thing though. I think it is more productive and nice to just assume the other person only has good intentions.