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Comment by beaker52

6 years ago

The problem appears to me to be around the assumptions that we make when we use the phrase "Why didn't you just use x?"

Consider "Did you try x?". It's matter of fact. It offers them the benefit of doubt whilst simultaneously giving them the the opportunity to be oblivious x, without assuming one way or the other. Much easier to begin a conversation with.

Speaking about facts makes conversations easier. In tech we're told "don't just give your opinion, bring evidence" - evidence are facts. The same works here too.

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beaker52

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jaclaz  6 years ago

Actually the problem in this kind of conversations is often the lack of the "standard litany" initially:

https://jdebp.eu/FGA/problem-report-standard-litany.html

if - from the start - either:

1) sshd was mentioned as tried (detailing exactly how it was tested) but not working

OR

2) sshd was not mentioned among the (several) attempts made

it would become perfectly acceptable to not reply mentioning ssh in case #1 or "Did you try sshd? in case #2.

What commonly happens in real life is that sshd was actually used, in a wrong way, and not mentioned, so when you - after having thought a bit on the problem - propose the "Did you try sshd?" you are perceived as either "obvious" or "condescending" anyway and you get a reply like "Sure I tried it, it didn't work!", without any detail on how exactly it was used, so you also exclude it as a valid possible solution even if (used correctly) it would work.