Comment by OrderlyTiamat
6 years ago
I like the way the author tries to dismantle this phrase, but it seems to me there is no magical way to phrase the question and have it not be interpreted however the other person percieves it. Ultimately, communication is a two way street. One has to assume that the other party is working in good faith- if you are 6workin in the spirit of cooperation, the phrasing doesn't matter that much anymore, the positive meaning will come through.
That said, I liked the last phrasing in the article. It shows perfectly what the question is: "this was my first idea, I can't see why it wouldn't work. Do you want to try this, or have you already thought of it and is theres a reason it's not working?"
What is interesting is that communication is at the heart of many things unless you are alone — and many are completely unaware of this. E.g. driving your car in traffic is quite definitly communication, as others have to “read” your behaviour and interpret it. Good drivers are very concious about what they communicate in which situation, bad drivers communicate completely without knowing about it and are bad at reading others communication.
I think you should always think a little bit for the person opposite: Did you give enough context? Is it ambiguos? etc.