Comment by rswail

I never graduated, but that was back in the 80s. The important part is not getting "official" education, but learning how to self-learn. You don't need to necessarily understand the underlying maths, if you can understand the general theory.

And you're not a "shitty software engineer" if you are self-aware enough to know what you don't know. Read, start with Wikipedia, look up the references, play with stuff, explore.

If you need to understand certain things at a deeper level, then explore the classes and other guided tuition.

I've been doing this stuff for 30 years and I still learn every day. You will produce less than optimal work for ever. As a master craftsman (which is what you are, not an "engineer") you are always learning and improving your craft.

You can be satisfied when completing some work if you did your best to produce it and it works within the constraints you had. There will always be things you would do different or better, so do that next time.