Comment by Pfhreak

I don't know what the law is in Germany, but here in California the threshold for alcohol isn't intoxication it's incapacitation. What happens if two intoxicated people have sex with each other? They're both simultaneously rape victim but also rapists?

They were both intoxicated and Pretty is not a very big name, not even in the Scala community. It's not as if we were talking about Martin Odersky. The guy gives talks from time to time and contributes code to some projects. That's it.

> She was not in a position to give consent there [...]

Of course she was. If all the stated facts in her account are true, then Pretty was behaving like an asshole (In setting her up and then trying to get in her knickers). But she was absolutely in a position to consent. Otherwise you make it very easy for people to shed responsibility. Being in a shitty position doesn't absolve you from bad decisions.

> She ended up crying and panicking.

If that's true, Petty should have stopped right there and then. Pretty much an asshole otherwise.

That said; that's _her_ side of the story and while I'm not _not_ believing her, I'm also not making any judgement on Pretty.

It definitely sounds like he abused his position and did a horrible thing, but the thing he did is not rape (assuming OP story is 100% accurate description of events).

If 2 people are intoxicated and have sex, do they both rape each other? If one person holds more power than the other, while both are intoxicated, is it just a one-way rape? Or is it still a two-way rape, where one person just "rapes a bit more" and the other person "rapes a bit less"? What if the person who had power ends up regretting sex afterwards and cries, does it "turn the tables" and cause the rapist to suddenly become the victim of rape, after the fact?

Yes, she was drunk. Yes, she later regretted having sex. These things alone do not mean that rape was committed. As far as I can tell, she is not referring to the events as "rape", so maybe you shouldn't either.