Comment by Pfhreak
4 years ago
> I don't want to victim blame here ... but does the victim bear some responsibility?
The answer to your question is no. The victim bears no responsibility. The abuser took advantage of someone, who bears no fault for the result. There's no "well, both parties were in the wrong here". The abuser should not have abused the other party, no matter how vulnerable the other party made themselves.
You specifically said you didn't want to victim blame, then immediately blamed the victim.
And what if they were consenting - I'm not saying that's the case here, I don't know obviously, I'm asking in general, just like my comment is a musing about the vagaries of when is consent not consent.
It's not vague. Consent is an enthusiastic and unambiguous yes. Was there an enthusiastic and unambiguous yes? You have consent. Was there not an enthusiastic and unambiguous yes? You do not have consent.
>enthusiastic and unambiguous
<rolls eyes>
By redefining consent you've just redefined rape to include some large percentage of people in stable relationships. If everyone's a rapist nobody is.
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I think we can agree on that.
I'm not arguing about what consent is, I'm arguing about whether you bear responsibility for what happens to you if you put yourself in a vulnerable position, give consent without being of sound mind, and then regret it later. I think 1) that's pretty dumb to put yourself in that situation, and 2) you do have partial responsibility for what happened.
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