Comment by willeh
4 years ago
This may be a tone-deaf sidetrack but also perhaps an important piece of advice for some. There should be an impenetrable barrier between ones love life and ones professional life. While there are certainly people who have met their significant other in a professional setting, there are much better ways of doing that, especially nowadays. By striving to keep this separation water tight we can avoid both unwanted advances and false allegations.
The above is not comment on the allegations in the post, any more than if everyone followed the above basic principle we would not have to deal with disturbing stories such as this one. It is important that stories such as this one are told but perhaps with the names left out.
This is probably good advice but if people are spending more and more of their time at work and work starts becoming half of their life, with outings with coworkers, bosses being your friend and not just your boss, then where can you meet people exactly?
You can't honestly demand both that people be disconnected from their coworkers and that they make work be 90% of their life. One part has to give (preferably the latter part).
I've seen careers of members of both sexes ruined because people let the pheromones cloud their judgment.
The number one golden rule of professionalism: never f--- at the factory. Don't make advances. Don't even flirt.
That's simply unrealistic and unhelpful.
That the author met this person in a professional setting is beside the point. It would be just as serious if it happened at a hobby event.
Perhaps `professional` is too narrow then. I think the power differential is an enabling factor for behaviour like this. While there certainly are creeps in normal dating situations, they are often easier to avoid. This story is very much about how this power differential allows one person to abuse another like this.
Being aware of how this affects human relationships is neither unrealistic nor unhelpful. It is something to take seriously and talk about in groups where it could arise.
or maybe just don't rape people idk
To expound on this because apparently it needs to be done:
> if everyone followed the above basic principle we would not have to deal with disturbing stories such as this one
This guy would still be a predator and a rapist, and he would still be doing similar things to people. Wishing that people were robots and were able to completely separate themselves emotionally from people they meet in situations in which they share a common interest is an exercise in futility. It's simply not how people work.
This sidetrack is basically victim blaming with extra steps.