Comment by Accacin
4 years ago
Seriously? How often does this happen? Unless you are a terrible person, I doubt anyone would try to ruin someone's life like this.
This lady seems to have her head screwed on. Her post doesn't seem to me like she's trying to cause a witch hunt and it seems like she's sharing her story in a logical and sensible manner.
I'll gladly read the post from another woman defending John Pretty, but I doubt that's going to be forthcoming.
There are unfortunately plenty of terrible people out there.
> This lady seems to have her head screwed on.
I don't agree.
She did not set her boundaries. She did not effectively communicate boundaries. She did not enforce boundaries.
When she doesn't get the outcome she wants, she turns to blame rather than introspection.
The default boundary should be "I do not want to have sex with you".
It's even more important when one person is in a position of power and when there's an inherent element of trust (teacher, mentor, etc.) because it's going to be much more complicated for a person to set appropriate boundaries and feel like they can say no to them.
This is someone they looked up to and respected!
Implicit in your post is the idea “Power is equal in every relationship” which is obviously false.
This is clear cut victim blaming.
Unfortunately without proof, we are often unable to determine who the victim is. It’s perfectly possible either way.
I'm not blaming her. I'm ignorant of any facts. I'm just saying she doesn't seem to have her head screwed on quite as tight as Accacin suggests.
Accacin suggests that sharing a plausible story is proof of wrongdoing. I don't think so. I'm ignorant. Accacin is ignorant. Everybody on this thread is ignorant of the facts.
I'm saying that Jon Pretty shouldn't have his livelihood and career destroyed by ignorant people and an accuser who admits to having her own set of issues.
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