Comment by voces
4 years ago
If you have a trauma: Work on it with a therapist in private.
Don't write a viral public post about it, ahead of the court case, invite others to comment on it, then blame the women struggle in tech on others who don't agree on the very strong, and damaging, qualifier of rape.
Rape is when you agree to have protected sex, but the man removes the condom sneakily, or the woman punctures the condom. What happened here was consensual sex without a condom, and one party regretting that after the fact (and being unspoken uncomfortable about it during).
Imagine having unprotected two-night stands years back, and suddenly your name is in a widely distributed article, charging you with rape. Like damn, and we wonder in a few years why the overreaction and demonization of the Scala community damaged its growth and inclusion.
https://utulsa.edu/sexual-violence-prevention-education/alco...
I think the US has some different, more prude, views on alcohol, which causes later excesses, requiring education as above.
Alcohol lowers your inhibition and makes you do stupid stuff. When age limit is 16, you do that stupid stuff when you are 17, and know your own limit by the time you are 21 and dating.
If you are a girl at a house party, you drink beyond your limit, go upstairs, and sit on a bed with some boys, you are not responsible for any assault that happens, but you do have your own choices and a will to avoid such risks. For:
> Regardless of how drunk or incapacitated a person may be, it is never their fault that they were assaulted.
does not count for the attackers, who may be very drunk as well, and sitting on a bed with a pretty girl.
Anyway, those rules are more for having students not act out, and have the rich parents of a cheerleader sue the university, when she somehow ended up drunk in the basement of a frat house, completely unable to consent.
Such sexual assault does exist in adult life (under police, not campus - supervision), but is of the degree of completely intoxicating a person, then dragging them home. Not: I drank wine, don't know how much, could have been drunk, then he made an advance on me. Like, she had to remove her clothes herself... it is not like she was passed out on the couch and he forced herself on her.
It was not even "rape" in her own mind, because they had sex another time.