Comment by danbmil99
5 years ago
There's actually a regional difference. Growing up on the east coast in New York people rarely smiled at each other on the street. Someone you didn't know smiling at you could mean a crazy person, or some sort of con artist trying to suck you into interacting with them.
Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod at each other. At first it was very off-putting and I found it hard to reciprocate. Over the years I've forced myself to do it so as not to seem unfriendly, but it's been a bit of a chore. That natural paranoia I feel, suspicion about people's motives, is something I grew up with and I don't think I'll ever be able to put it down completely.
In some parts of the US (particularly small towns and the Midwest) people will not only smile and nod at strangers on the sidewalk, but say hello or ask “how are you?” (not expecting anything other than “fine, thanks”). In New York, that would definitely be cause for concern!
Can confirm. I spent many years in the Midwest and it is very common for strangers there to engage you in conversation randomly just to be nice. In contrast, in most East Coast cities, whenever people start up a conversation without an immediately apparent goal, it is to set up an ask for money.
Which is interesting, because you'd think German or Slav heritage would be more common there. Culture morphs.
Yes, indeed! I'm from the "cold non-smiling" country as well and going first time to Atlanta was very weird experience with random people on the street "how are you?"ing you.
My man. I am from Connecticut, moved to Oregon, and this phenomenon is breaking my heart... It makes me want to wear a hijab or something.
Yea, I noticed east/west coast friendships are different too.
Friendships are a bit stronger on the east coast.
At least from my perspective in California.
On the east coast its way less 'appropriate' to interact with strangers so friends are a more limited set, necessarily brought together by more than mere chance. The cultural differences are so fascinating.
Yes I can go on about that too. Friendships are harder to form but last longer and seem deeper on the East Coast. Here on the West Coast, you frequently have relationships and appear to be deep friendships and then you just drift apart and never connect again.
It's sort of like the smiling thing at a mega scale.
I have a few Scottish friends who experienced the same thing moving to London. People on the tube thought they were nuts for smiling and occasionally starting a conversation.
> Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod at each other.
No need to go to West Coast for that. In the more affluent areas in Central NJ, people greet you on jogging trails, and sometimes even when passing you on ShopRite and Walmart ailes (these are grocery store chains).