Comment by vkou
5 years ago
> Because old people are generally gross?
No, because a relationship between a teenager and someone in their 30s is seen as 'more likely than not to be exploitative'.
I've only known two people who fit that bill, and as a third-party observer, both of them seemed incredibly sleazy and manipulative. I'm sure that there are exceptions, but most people would correctly see that kind of age gap as a huge red flag.
I'd like to see some research to back that claim that over 50% relationships with significant age gap are exploitative.
Unless by more likely that not you mean a bit more likely than average relationship between a doctor and a waitress.
EDIT:
I'm sorry. While rephrasing the claim I changed its meaning. Please disregard my comment.
I think it’s simpler than that: wide age gaps in relationships are rare and thus call attention to themselves. That a culturally significant body of fiction exists to cast negative attention on them (Lolita, American Beauty e.g.) just amplifies the American sense that “this is unusual”. Prejudicial perhaps. But most people choosing where to live and with whom will optimise for familiarity and security. No one is saying we should ban age gaps. Only that they present perceived additional risk once imported from “society in general” to “my living space”.
The usual guidance to “mind your own business” doesn’t really work here because who I live with and where is entirely my business.
Yeah but you could apply the same exclusions to black people and be rightfully named racist for that.
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because a relationship between a teenager and someone in their 30s is seen as 'more likely than not to be exploitative'.
I'd like to see some research to back that claim that over 50% relationships with significant age gap are exploitative.
These two statements are not identical.
So what exactly more likely than not means? I'm not native English speaker.
Or are you referring to the difference "significant age gap" vs "30 year old and teenager"?
If so I conceed. Those kinds of relationships are so incredibly rare among all relationships that I have no idea about the statistics there.
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> I'd like to see some research to back that claim that over 50% relationships with significant age gap are exploitative.
I'm not claiming that, I'm claiming that it's a common belief about them.
Why is it exploitative for a 33yo male to date an 18yo female? Are they not both adults? And who is doing the exploiting?
What about a 70yo male and a 33yo female? Still exploitative?