Comment by resonious
3 years ago
I had an experience somewhat opposite to the article. I somehow ended up with a friend group and family that tended to avoid interrupting. I guess the idea was that it was rude. People who were interrupted would complain and call you out for interrupting, and I would feel guilt if I did it.
Once I entered the professional world, I found that people (especially managers) would interrupt me all the time. I was a bit shocked - it felt animalistic, as though people were just not interested in having a "real" conversation.
Instead of becoming bitter about it, I just tried to adapt. I figured "ok, I need to express my thought in about 3 seconds or else I'll get interrupted". This seems to have worked quite well. It's forced me to think hard about what the crux of my argument is and then get it out as fast as possible. I never really thought about it much until seeing this article, but I think being interrupted has made me a better communicator.
Huh, that's pretty interesting. It reminds me that I had a workplace experience related to this recently
I was working with a client based in another country (which made me a little less certain about customs/etiquette), and our relationship was a little similar to manager/subordinate (esp. because I had a peer in meetings which he would somewhat direct).
For the first several months we were actually pretty strictly non-interrupting in conversation, but there was a transition at some point because a lot needed to be communicated and everyone involved was very interested/engaged. I think he was a bit taken aback at my first interrupts (which were e.g. to let him know I'd already heard about something he was trying to tell me), but once he saw that I also very readily yielded if he ever wanted to interject, our style of speaking morphed so that cooperative interrupting became commonplace (and our conversations became more fun :).
I think in a situation like that it's inherently a bit risky because it can signal things about power dynamics, but if you actually play nicely with it, don't use it for your own benefit, just for efficiency, it can also be a way of upping trust level (specifically because it was something risky, they had to trust you some, but it turned out fine, you didn't take advantage).
Being succinct goes a long way. I found that people rarely interrupts me because I try to convey my thought in a relatively dense manner. If asked one question, I answer that question in the first sentence, then the justifications and explanations. If I'm explaining something, I do the same thing with the abstract idea first, then detailing after that. I don't fear being interrupted, as that usually means I've been talking longer than needed.
People love to build arguments on piles of “facts” which nobody would be able to question in a timely manner after the final conclusion is done. Both consciously and not. Cutting this flow of nonsense short is essential for communication and negotiation, especially in gullible/hierarchical groups like family and friends (YMMW). I find that most of the times when I listen to a lenghty monologue, it serves a persuading rather than an informing purpose. 5 minute “ted” voice messages are the extreme example of it.