Comment by sbf501
3 years ago
I think what the commenter is referring to is this:
" I often get so bored it's hard to pay attention because either 1) they left something out that I wanted to ask about so I can't follow what they are saying, or 2) I already had a thorough understanding of something they insist on giving a long explanation of. "
This leaves a really bad taste in my mouth, of arrogance.
To me this sounds like a bad listener: short attention span, short memory: ergo, judging the other speaker as using an "inferior" mode of communication. There's a judgement built from a prejudice which is incurred by personal shortcomings. Fix the shortcomings (by practice) and the judgement goes away (potentially, because I'm not a mind reader).
Your other comments have made it very clear that your assertion of a superior mode of communication relies on context, but that assessment doesn't jive with this paragraph. Hence, it is indeed a "doozy".
I don't think it's arrogant to introspect your own thoughts about how a common social situation makes you feel, especially in a conversation about social dynamics.
You're the one coming off as arrogant and judgemental here, by my reading.
Plus, I would argue that being resilient to people with shorter attention spans or worse memory (due to how their brain works, mood, or emotional state) is an important factor in discussing what communication style is most generally effective!
I would be mortified to be delivering a monologue that my interlocutor is having trouble following or not interested in. And it would be the height of arrogance on my part to think I have a right to continue the monologue or be indignant that they’re prodding towards a more successful exchange.
If someone is explaining a process and uses a term that I'm not sure I understand (eg. 'upsetting' in blacksmithing or 'sparging' in brewing) they are quite literally wasting their breath and our time. That information is not going to get integrated in my mind unless I am able to guess a close approximation.
This is number 1 and I completely agree with the grandparent comment. If someone gets irritated about me interrupting just to ask for clarification then I'll have to ask them to explain the term then repeat themselves or just pretend that I understood what they said.