Comment by outsidetheparty
2 years ago
The original MetaFilter comment lays the idea out in a much more balanced way than this article does, imo. The discussion of the idea here looks to be well on its way to mirroring that on MetaFilter (Ask vs Guess became a major part of that site's culture, it came up in quite a few threads over time.)
https://ask.metafilter.com/55153/Whats-the-middle-ground-bet...
(To me the most interesting thing about the concept is that you can immediately tell from people's reaction to it which category they personally fall into.)
> (To me the most interesting thing about the concept is that you can immediately tell from people's reaction to it which category they personally fall into.)
It reveals things about other people, but also about oneself. For example, I always assumed that people were just afraid to ask and answer questions honestly; until I read that post, I was not aware that there was any cultural choice being made. And so I learned that, partly through upbringing and partly through choice, I was an Asker; but that people who were Guessers were operating on an equally sound footing to mine, just from very different assumptions.
Definitely!
The original post and discussion was an eye-opener for me; before that I never understood why some people would say "yes" to a request but then act put upon anyway, or would act vaguely like they wanted something but never actually come out and say so. I just thought they expected everyone to be a mind-reader.
Once I understood they were basing things on the premise that putting someone in a position of having to say "no" was rude, it all made a lot more sense, and I was able to adjust my own behavior and expectations to better fit theirs.