Comment by ativzzz
2 years ago
You can also be more empathetic with ask culture and soften or make the request more obvious to say no to.
Instead of saying "can you do x" you can say "i know you're busy so no pressure whatsoever but if you're available can you do me out with x? feel free to say no my feelings won't be hurt"
Yea it's a lot more words but the general gist is you ask with an additional explicit "out" for the other person so they can say no using your pre-provided excuse instead of them having to come up with one. I've found this over communication can be useful for bridging the gap sometimes
As a (suffering) guesser myself, when I have to ask something I always phrase it like 'would you be interested in doing this?' so that they can say 'no' without stress.
Instead of asking 'Would you do this for me? etc.' which I know would cause a mild-natured guesser stress.