Comment by blargey
2 years ago
> What this culture really wants is for you to pay attention and understand the people around you
This sort of framing highlights the worst case scenario of "guess" culture imo. Where members assume that outsiders to the "guess" culture only need to "pay attention" to pick up on all the right norms and assimilate into the community that they spent decades growing up in (and that everyone ought to, in the first place, because the "guess" culture considers itself the necessary consequence of virtues like trust and caring). Which leads to great offense being taken when people don't adhere.
I think that guess culture has attuned me to knowing when I need to include a quiet person into a conversation or to check in on my neighbor when I notice they seem down. Reading people is an undervalued skill that was honed in my guess culture upbringing.