Comment by globular-toast

Something I noticed with my ex was how we differed in asking for help. I guess I am an asker and she is a guesser.

Me: if I need help I will ask for help. I do NOT want you to offer help unless I ask and I especially do NOT want you to just join in and help if it looks like I'm struggling. I feel entitled to the satisfaction of having done it myself, if I can.

Her: if she needs help she won't ask for it but hopes her frustration is apparent and help will come. Finds it very uncomfortable to watch people struggling and feels compelled to offer help or just join in and help. Feels annoyed if help doesn't come when she needs it.

As you can imagine this caused quite a bit of conflict between us, at least until I understood what was going on.

But I think in every other respect I'm a guesser.