Comment by distances

It's just a different culture, so it's not an active, rational decision about which way to react -- that's not how we work. My first instinct always is to refuse the offer before I really consider if I want it or not. It's built-in, it's in my bones. The polite way, not being a burden or causing extra hassle. Then with a follow-up offer I have maybe considered the circumstances and my wants a bit more and can accept if I feel so.

> You say which one you want or you get nothing. Your choice.

It doesn't work if I'm visiting you, that's for sure. It works well and without any friction in my own culture. So there's the need to be mindful of the situation and perhaps consider a bit longer before going with my instincts.

And if the worst comes to pass and you don't offer again, then maybe I'll realize our differences and just ask for that coffee after all.