Comment by Fischgericht
3 years ago
I'd like to make a couple of points to think about:
I'd been addicted to opioids for a couple of years. And I was very happy that I was able to get original non-counterfeit pills on the dark net, from vendors that had thousands of positives reviews. Being a nerd, and successful when it comes to business, risk-free supply had never been an issue. Luckily I bought Bitcoin when they did cost $0.20...
Fighting the dark net has always been a stupid idea. It's the cleanest way for people to get the substances they need, with the lowest amount of risk in every single regard. Lowest risk to get your substance cut with something unhealthy, lowest risk of getting ripped off, lowest risk of getting into criminal circles.
Fighting the dark net means pushing people to street dealers, increasing suffering, violent crime and deaths.
So, why did I get addicted? Depressions, anxiousness, and finally: Being on the autistic spectrum, which now seems absolutely obvious from earliest childhood memories, but my parents never took me to a neurologist to get that diagnosed. I just lived with being "different". Until I could not take it anymore, and tried to help myself with substances.
How did I get off the addiction? Did a search for the best-rated neurologist in the region, made an appointment, got treatment. It took a while, but in the end a combination of substances was found that worked out better than opiates.
But that being said: Those substances are the same that I can get as prescription medication, or as "drugs" on the street. It's just that now I no longer have to spend Bitcoin on it, but get them for free from the health care system. Yay!
Please remind yourself: Nearly everything that is taken and sold as "drugs" on the streets is used to treat some problem, just in a very dangerous way, without proper education, without proper risk management.
Whatever that scary drug that your parents and your school are warning you about to be evil: It's just medication. The poor people die on the street trying to get their supply, the rich guys get a subscription to get it for free.
If your country has a problem with drugs on the street, and with crime due to people trying to get those substances, your country SIMPLY HAS A PROBLEM PROVIDING HEALTH CARE to its citizens!
So please stop demonizing substances, demonizing substance "abuse", demonizing people providing those substances in a clean and safe way via the dark net, and demonizing people who sadly did not have the luck of their health care system helping them.
And go fix your health care systems.
I resonate with this comment strongly. I have never been diagnosed, but I strongly suspect I am neurodivergent. My extreme social isolation/anxiety in my college years and twenties led me to dependency on alcohol and cannabis. I never tried hard drugs, but my life back then was just one tiny twist of fate away from me becoming an opioid addict.
I did manage to become sober, and a lot of social challenges have become more manageable now that I have a better framework for understanding my mind.
You might want to try Ketamine. In some countries it's now available legally from neurologists as nose spray. If not, get it from the dark net or a friend in the rave community. Or ask as friend who is a veterinarian. You get mix your own nose spray with that.
Before Ketamine, I never in my life had been able to get into a group of people with them being closer than about 50cm to me. Which means: I could never join a dancefloor.
With Ketamine, that poof went away, and I could.
The same happened for a couple of my neurodiverse friends. One girl her hole life could not be in the same room as others while eating. Now she can.
A single dose also has anti-depressant effects for five days.
Interestingly, it's now in some countries allowed to be used as treatment for social anxiety after positives studies on that. On the other hand, there is now a clinical study that say it's not better than a placebo. Weird.
However, for me (and my nerd friends) the before/after effect is so drastic, I can rule out a placebo effect. My neurologist agrees. I trust clinical studies and always consult them, but something must have gone wrong there.
And yes, this is a good example of a substance that in many countries can get you into jail, while in other countries it can make a most DRAMATIC positive change in your life.
I guess I should add this disclaimer:
Not medical advise. I am not suggesting you to something that is illegal in the country you are living in.
Do your own research AND consult someone who is competent on this when wishing to try Ketamine. Buy from a trusted seller. When trying a new substance, always do it sober - no other substance, especially no alcohol. Never try a new drug when alone. Ketamine is a drug that at different doses has very different effects. For social anxiety only a very low dose is needed, muss less than your raver friends would take to have fun. So start low, and slowly level up. Ketamine is pretty safe, but bad for your bladder long-term. Drinking green tea fixes that.
Thank you for the recommendation. I worry about developing a dependency to ketamine, but in NY state where I live, it is legal for therapeutic purposes. I might consider it. I prefer microdoses of psilocybin, since I have a bias towards plant medicine, and I know exactly where the fungus came from :)
And just a funny note re: dancing -- part of my healing journey has been through ecstatic dance. It is a completely sober practice of dancing intuitively and freely with others. While I love ecstatic dance and can easily dance with no fear or anxiety, even in non-ecstatic spaces, I cannot actually speak to strangers or express my desire to become friends with someone.
It's easier for me to dance with complete strangers than it is to converse with them :) One of my most recent social struggles has been the discrepancy between intensely beautiful and intimate bonds formed with people while practicing ecstatic dance, and then finding myself completely unable bond with them via conversation after the dance is over.
I sometimes wish I lived in a world where no one knew my language and it was ok to have a partnership that relied only on body language. Relying on speech to bond with others has failed me for decades and I don't understand why.
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