Comment by icepat
2 years ago
I've been in the diagnostic process for ADHD twice. First time I ended up losing all the paperwork, and getting kicked out of it. In the time between the first and second attempt, I developed PTSD which essentially stalled the second diagnostic as they could not cleanly differentiate between the two. For some reason, getting a diagnosis has been nearly impossible for me, despite each diagnostician saying "ADHD is highly likely", and the PTSD was a downstream effect of untreated ADHD.
I'm curious of any other developers have found effective, non-medication based ways to manage this.
The fact you lost the paperwork should be a pretty damn good indicator and this part made me laugh out loud. I'm glad to have been simply diagnosed by someone who just accepted my story as true. All this talk about diagnosis is just bizarre. It's not a 0-1 sort of thing, they have to trust you. Unfortunately you have to be confident and assertive because they will gas-light you in the name of being 'careful'.
Sports can be an important piece of the puzzle in the ADHD lifestyle. Especially high-intensity, game-like, engaging ones that you can identify with and be good at. I swear my executive self-control and discipline have improved since I started training tennis several years ago.
Now do remembering to fill your medicine when you're off your medicine :) you need extreme executive loading to argue with insurance and RXs especially with the supply chain issues.
It always bothers me how the procedure for getting ADHD meds is the single most ADHD unfriendly procedure in existence.
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This has caused so many extremes in my life that I know actively avoid stimulant medications even though they objectively improve my quality of life. I wish excruciating agony upon the DEA and anyone who supports the current schedule system. It is just torturing the ill so that mediocre busybodies can feel superior without actually accomplishing anything.
I feel incredibly lucky that my parents got me evaluated for ADHD and Autism when I was still a minor. It's much much harder as an adult. There is a lot of stigmatization and also this thought of "oh you got through school, oh you got this far" for adults with ADHD.
I used to take medication and it helped me a lot. Now however I have come off of them completely. The side effects can be devastating. In my case, I developed strong insomnia as amphetamines are much stronger than caffeine. Sleeplessness over a longer period can be very mentally deteriorating.
The advice I can give is to actively seek interaction with others suffering from the same, actively accept and ask for all accommodations and help, give yourself enough time for what you need to do and don't compare your experience to the neurotypical one. It is different and it's a matter of coping and accepting oneself and ones disadvantages as a normal part of life.
Another thing I often say to people in my therapy group is that they should also be politically proactive about their condition. Things like healthcare covered medication, ensured accommodations etc and the fight against stigmatization are political by nature.
> The advice I can give is to actively seek interaction with others suffering from the same, actively accept and ask for all accommodations and help, give yourself enough time for what you need to do and don't compare your experience to the neurotypical one. It is different and it's a matter of coping and accepting oneself and ones disadvantages as a normal part of life.
This has been my approach at this point. I've had to accept that I will likely never get medication, or even a proper diagnosis. My family actively fought every teacher who suggested I had ADHD, and there were several. Very honestly, the only reason I have sought diagnosis is to get accommodation which would let me work within the focus patterns ADHD causes.
My closest friend has ADHD, and my partner is in the process of getting an ASD diagnosis. The majority of my time is spent around neuroodivergent types.
Simply having people around you who share your experience is incredibly helpful, since you can talk to them freely and be understood. I've given up trying to discuss the experience with people who are NT simply because the understanding that the challenges I face are not just inconvenient just isn't there.
>This has been my approach at this point. I've had to accept that I will likely never get medication, or even a proper diagnosis.
I don't see how the rest of your comment follows from this quote. Don't give up bud, its always worth trying. You can simply not take meds if you don't want to.
> don't compare your experience to the neurotypical one
I can't help myself from doing this, but I am not sure if I truly should want to stop making such a comparison. I find it leaves me feeling like I am inferior or sub-human. I have ADHD, and so what? ADHD can make things more challenging, but not impossible (within the realms of reason).
Do you also have an aversion to paperwork? Seems to be "a thing". Paperwork has paralysed me ever since I've been in high school. Have gotten in trouble and paid fines over procrastinating paperwork over my whole life.
I am also on the "Highly Likely", and currently on the waitlist for a clinic. The best thing I did was being open and honest with my partner, as my ADD behaviors would sometimes exasperate her. I did the same with my manager at work, and it can usually get you some degree of accommodation which can help you cope.
I suffer for the 3-for-1 Triple A special: Autism, Anxiety and ADD. Seems to be a fairly common combination. Physical exercise helps greatly with anxiety, and helps to some degree to ADD as it does generate a certain sense of "reward" in my brain.
Paperwork is my nightmare. I don't forget to do them, I just can't seem to get started on them even if they're simple and quick. Things I've done in the past
- Put off paying a traffic citation until I got a late fine that doubled the amount
- Put off gathering paperwork for taxes until my accountant told me if I don't send it now he won't be able to file this year
- Drove around with expired plates for 6 months until the car got towed parked on the street
Looking back, it feels silly to procrastinate on these simple tasks for so long but I guess that's the ADHD brain at work.
Last year I sent a friend a package. It took me over a year to send the damn thing. Why? I just couldn't find the motivation to send it. I had all the contents packed up in a box ready to go, and I live like 0.2 mile walk away from a Post Office. Still took over a year to send it.
Oh! I have another. I once drove with expired car tags for like 3 to 6 months. I already had them renewed and everything. In fact, my tag sticker was in the damn glove compartment the whole time. I just kept procrastinating on putting the sticker on because I didn't want to carve out the 1 minute it takes to unscrew the license plate cover, clean the plate, and apply the sticker.
"I'll do it <insert future time>."
It's shit like this that kills me.
Ironically, I had less issues with this kind of stuff prior to being medicated, but I also was younger and had less responsibility in my day-to-day life, so medication might not be a correlated much.
I totally get it and have been through exactly what you describe many times.
What finally helped me was (a) the advent of online services for nearly everything, so I can do it all in one session and not have to do multiple steps to accomplish something (or any back-and-forth phone/mail), and (b) a "just do it now" mindset. Like, when a bill comes I somehow finally have myself psyched to pay it online right away (don't ask me how I got here, I don't know. Maybe it's because I tied money handling to checking my bank balance when I get a paycheck - that's when I do most of my banking... seeing a higher balance and moving money around (and by extension, paying bills) feels exciting now to my lizard brain.) Otherwise, if I don't take care of it right away, I know it'll literally never happen.
I know that if I had been born 20 years earlier, I'd have a much worse credit score and probably be much poorer due to late fees. Online services and auto-bill-pay make such a difference.
FML I think my tags are expired, thanks
I always find it interesting when people have a hard time getting a diagnosis. I was diagnosed as a child with ADHD and I've had ... tens of psychiatrists over my life and when I eventually move and go to a new one I've never once had one want to re-diagnose or have me prove in some way that I'm ADHD. I just tell them that I'm ADHD and my other neurodivergent issue and they prescribe me my medication.
I've never told a new pysch who my previous psych was so I'm sure they're not getting my medical records from them unless there's some sharing system I'm unaware of.
I wonder if I come off as strongly ADHD. I've been called "intense" before, whatever that means. I'm definitely fidgety and a horrible leg bouncer.
Lol I was kind of rediagnosed as an adult and I missed the first appointment. Then it took me half a year to make another one. There I forget half my papers … and so on …
After 1h talk and some tests where I refilled everything so oft that it was a mess they didn’t have any doubt.
The say that one in five people have it but that just accounts for those that can get themselves diagnosed or who had people that helped them.
I missed 3 consultations, got lost, was late and then waited a year till acting upon the diagnosis :)
Ask a friend to dedicate time to be with you (even on remote) when you fill/send the paperwork. Or hire a secretary/student to do it for you. You need a crutch, that's OK and totally normal!
If you want to take one more shot at it, try any online pill mill, the diagnostic process is much easier post-covid and may be as simple as a brief in-person interview with a non-MD practitioner.
You still need cognitive behavioral therapy. Stimulants are a blunt instrument.
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How does your PTSD present?
Have you tried meditation and breathing exercises?
Yes to both. I also wear an Apple Watch with the main display being a heart rate graph to monitor my stress levels over the day. I tend to average a resting rate of 100 bpm during periods of higher stress, and between 60-70 in periods of lower stress. Longer periods of high BPM indicates that I need to take a break.
The PTSD presents mostly in incredibly severe trust issues, periodic nightmares related to events, depersonalization, sleep problems, and paranoia. I also have an absurdly overblown startle response that looks more like a panic attack than someone being jump-startled. If I'm startled "badly enough", it triggers a panic attack. "Badly enough" can simply be someone tapping me on the shoulder when I didn't notice them coming up behind me.
If you haven't already, you should absolutely seek help and medication for the non-ADHD issues. It sounds like they are seriously affecting your life.
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meditation
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