Comment by 8jef
3 years ago
Trump gets skin and testicular cancer by end of summer, dies first week of October.
Biden gets fatal heart attack a week later.
RFK Jr. shot in the head the next day while touring Gaza Strip.
Ivanka Trump fills in, elected next US President, Kim Kardashian as VP. Supreme Court swiftly declares move constitutional.
Kanye claims he's been abducted by aliens, registers as lobbyist for extraterrestrial affairs. Will be found dead down a cliff in Greenland after solar eclipse.
Penguin cultured meat becomes wildly popular in Argentina.
Taylor Swift performs for Kim Jung-Un in North Korea.
Israel expands, seizing neighboring parts in Lebanon and Syria, activates a shielding force field over territory, dubbed as the Israely bubble.
Conspiracy theory about combined primate-pork ancestry for human kind becomes widespread. Pork meat sales plummet.
First trans woman carries fetus, gives birth.
Italian algea pasta startup fails because of AI glitch.
Worldwide emails get all routed to single Gmail account for 48h. Major data center fires ensues. Lost email data never recovered.
Pringles create new bologna-asparagus flavored crisps, which leads to global addiction crisis and instant liver cancer for 2% of world population.
Coca-Cola launches Water 2.0, a new bottled drink that packs 2,800 calories per liquid once, while tasting like regular tap water.
Dubai plans for new massive mile-high pyramid shaped water park.
Panama Canal moves to Costa Rica.
Study finds lecithin emulsifier food additives to be root cause of worldwide diabetes and obesity epidemic. Lead scientists die in a car accident upon publication.
Pet shop puppy get AIDS from ticks in Pennsylvania.
First transgender Iranian Mullah gets out of the closet.
> First transgender Iranian Mullah gets out of the closet.
I think Iran actually has a healthcare system that's progressive on just this one issue.
From Google AI: "Iran is the only Islamic country that recognizes sex reassignment surgery (SRS). Sex changes have been legal in Iran since the late 1980s, when Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, the spiritual leader of the 1979 Islamic revolution, passed a fatwa authorizing them."
I forget why he did that. However, that prediction isn't as absurd as you intended.
It is not at all progressive, the Iranian authorities use this surgery as a punishment for homosexual men.
See https://www.thepinknews.com/2020/02/22/iran-gay-forced-gende...:
> Shadi Amin, an Iranian-born activist, told The Sun that this homophobic Iranian regime is controlled by religious extremists who view being gay as an "illness". They believe that the only way it can be cured is by changing gender.
> "The government believes that if you are a gay man, your soul is that of a woman and you should change your body," Amin said.
> "We think this is a way [for them] to fight the existence of homosexual people because you change their body and you solve the problem.
> "The regime gives gay people two choices – to be arrested as a homosexual and risk punishment or even execution, or change your body."
> Government data shows that around 4000 gender reassignment surgeries are performed in Iran each year.
> Amin, however, claims that those numbers are actually much higher in reality.
> "They are trying to cleanse the country of homosexuals," she added.
> "They would rather carry out mass surgeries than executions because they know the world is watching them."
Well, if they were actually progressive, they'd realize that not every homosexual wants to be a god damn woman. I'll admit it's definitely not the most progressive take on things. However, it's at least more progressive than just killing them, which is what we find elsewhere in the region and would have expected from Iran no less.
> (...) that prediction isn't as absurd as you intended.
These predictions may seem absurd at first glance, but I assure you, they're not, to me at least.
> Coca-Cola launches Water 2.0, a new bottled drink that packs 2,800 calories per liquid once, while tasting like regular tap water.
Solve world hunger with water. Genius.
Don't mind me, just bookmarking this to revisit in 53 weeks...