Comment by smeej
1 year ago
"Integrating the trauma into your personality and by extension your life" isn't optional. Biologically, the trauma changed both your body and your mind. Your neurological and endocrine systems do not respond to stimuli as they would have if you had not experienced the trauma.
It's highly analogous to a deeply damaging physical wound. It is part of you now, whether you want it to be or not. You can't undo it, and denying the reality of it won't actually help you live a healthy life without it.
Yes. So you and many other are encouraging letting the wound fester instead of healing it with all that you can.
You can't undo it, but you can live with it and not let it fester.
No one is talking about denial. My comments mention acceptance...
What's your understanding of how a body heals a major wound, like the loss of an arm? It has to integrate this into a reshaped understanding of itself. That's what healing is.
The core muscles have to rebalance to compensate for the missing weight. The neural pathways have to change in realization that, for example, instinctively trying to move that arm to catch a fall won't work anymore. The whole body has to relearn how to function now that it's different, now that the traumatic thing has happened.
This is integrating. Trying to function the way it did before actually prolongs the suffering. Only healing and integration is the path forward.
If you lose your arm you use the other one. You don't complain that you can't use arms now because it was your dominant arm...
It ain't rocket science buddy.
Sounds like you need to try read my parent comments again.