You are unwilling to adhere to your own standard? Interesting. What happened? Was it that someone else used this technique against you in the past to make you feel small? And now you've stored in some kind of quiver of ready to use insulting behavior to avoid any sort of confrontation or perceived failure? Then because of this you're made awkward and uncomfortable when it doesn't play out the same way as before?
You are unwilling to adhere to your own standard? Interesting. What happened? Was it that someone else used this technique against you in the past to make you feel small? And now you've stored in some kind of quiver of ready to use insulting behavior to avoid any sort of confrontation or perceived failure? Then because of this you're made awkward and uncomfortable when it doesn't play out the same way as before?
In psychology that's called projection. I highly recommend looking into it.