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Comment by ravenstine

3 days ago

I can see why an adult who's never dealt with these difficulties in childhood would give that sort of advice, but it's bewildering how school administrators weren't (and probably still aren't) trained on the reality that "just walk away" is a platitude in the context of an environment where bullies have a captive audience.

It reminds me of how we were told "stick and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me", which is easy to say as an adult with autonomy and other sources of fulfillment; in reality, words not only hurt, but have lasting social consequences. If some turd of a kid has the charisma to humiliate you in front of everyone, even when only verbally, that can lead to a permanently damaged sense of self and lack of respect from peers.

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ravenstine

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PaulHoule  3 days ago

There is more than one kind of charisma.

Some people have a positive charisma that comes out of treating people well. I'd expect this from the captain of a sports team.

I knew someone who had a negative charisma, who was criminally minded. He was popular among drug users at my school because he would take more chances and thus have the best supply. He got caught on tape selling 3 kilo of cocaine to a cop after I'd graduate. He had a talent to motivate other people into criminal activity and became the leader of a gay bashing gang that seemed to mainly target straight allies because this was the 1980s and folks like that were probably scared about getting AIDS.

I don't picture the elementary school bully as being particularly popular, but he certainly gets deference from the other students. I think of the popular kids in school as being genuinely likeable even if they didn't take a stand against bullies.

Aeolun  3 days ago

I’ve taken away more from Ender’s Game than from anything an adult ever told me. From what I’ve seen, breaking the bullies’s nose is very effective.

  • kennyloginz  2 days ago

    I’m not sure if I agree with this essay, but have you heard about the theory that Ender’s Game is pornography? ( There’s lots of other theories about the book, but this is my favorite ) https://archive.is/JtbIY