Comment by graemep
4 days ago
> Adults can watch something happening and think nothing particularly significant is going on while some kids are experiencing extreme internal distress.
I think because that is also often because they regard it as normal for kids. A lot of people say things like "bullying toughens them up".
They would not think its OK for the same things to be done to adults. I wonder what the toughens them up lot would think if I showed up at their house with a few friends and gave them a light beating - I think calling the police would be a more likely outcome than thanking me for teaching them to be tough!
There are levels to this stuff too.
I got picked on all the time as a kid in school. I did not like it, but it did develop several traits that I learned to appreciate later in life. First and foremost, I am not the slightest bit bothered by anyone mocking me anymore. I don’t get easily embarrassed at all.
At the same time, I also learned to fit in a lot better. Getting picked on for things I said or did create some social conditioning about what was and wasn’t acceptable.
This type of bullying was helpful in hindsight.
Physical bullying is different ballgame and I don’t understand anyone that thinks it’s acceptable.
Cyberbullying is on a whole other level of publicly humiliating a developing child in front of everybody they know, often by anonymous people who will take steps to make sure it never goes away if they want to.
The latter 2 are totally unacceptable and dangerous.
The first getting lumped in with bullying creates bullying apologists I think, because there can be beneficial side effects of helping kids learn social norms.