Comment by PaulHoule

Many young people are vulnerable.

I was bullied in elementary school and graduated the same way Ender Wiggin did.

I was out two years and skipped three, started in the middle of freshman year.

I had no idea how I was going to find a mate. The world my parents grew up in, where my mom was introduced to my dad by his sister, was long gone. I knew I couldn't trust anything I saw on TV or in the movies. Adults, including my parents, were completely dismissive of my concerns. Might have made a difference if I had a sister, but she was born premature and I never saw her before she died.

I sat next to a beautiful girl in English who left me feeling entirely outclassed. [1] I came home crying from school about this every day for most of a year until I met the new physics teacher who let me hang out in the lab during study breaks, which gave me some meaning in my life and led me to get a PhD in the field. I still was afraid I'd wind up alone forever and went to a "tech" school which had an unfavorable gender ratio; I did find a girlfriend in my senior year, then was lonely and miserable in grad school. I found someone who was a friend of a friend and I've been involved in a love triangle ever since which he lost out in. My partner is a 100% reliable person from the same culturally Catholic background of myself (my parents did not involved me with the Church, she did all the things and has a positive orientation towards religion but doesn't take communion because she doesn't believe it literally.)

Boys today don't have it any easier. My immediate reaction is to be sympathetic towards "incels" but as an organized group they teach boys self-loathing which is primary to the 50% attraction-50% hate that they express towards women (hmmm... something a lot of people who are more or less healthy feel towards their parents because the conflicts that come out of being dependent on people)

[1] She was traumatized by her parents going through a nasty divorce. She teaches the Quechua language in Hawaii now. There's a photo of her next to a huge dog, no sign of any human relations. I probably did better at love than she did in the end.