Comment by PaulHoule
3 days ago
I write about my experience here https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42682305#42688501
My best friend in college was transsexual, knew who she was in childhood, couldn't be talked in or out of it. She was kicked out of the Air Force Academy which was my gain but our nation's loss. I was proud of my country when I heard this policy changed, not just for the individuals but because the US struggles to attract officers to match the quality of our enlisted warfighters.
I've cross-dressed at times (high heels, fishnets, all that) such as for Halloween and I also know the undercurrents of violence you can feel from ignorant people. Sometimes I bum around the house wearing a long skirt.
I was inclined to be supportive of the modern transgender movement when I first heard about it and when my exposure was through the media. It is their own speech that has alienated me from them.
Once I met people affected and after I joined Mastodon where I've had to add rules to completely block out their continuous hateful spew which frequently gets reposted by people who should know better. I'd be glad to hear "I'm so happy I found a new way to put on makeup that makes me feel like myself" or "I'm really inspired by electronic music pioneer Wendy Carlos" or "Thank Lynn Conway for that phone in your pocket".
I can't deal with large volumes of negativity from strangers and on leftie corners on the web people from that community are the worst. [1] Whether or not they should exist is beyond my pay grade but I don't want them in my feed at all.
For that matter I feel less safe and not more safe expressing non-conformant gender characteristics because: (1) so many people have gotten inflamed, and (2) I don't buy into the politics.
[1] I just plain couldn't stand the MAGA nuts on Twitter, never mind all the equally hateful people who spew hate against transgender people (who I suspect want people to spew hate at them to justify their world view as much as Benjamin Netanyahu likes Palestinian attacks that justify his world view.)
I'm sorry you experienced that, and that kind of hate has not been my experience - though that kind of negativity in other online cultures certainly has been.
Trans people behaving badly does not make me want them to cease existing, or make me feel less for their cause. "Trans people want hate spewn at them to justify their worldview" feels like a hilariously backwards belief outside of a few professional activists, who I am not particularly inclined in listening to in the first place.
Their cause is to universally redefine "woman" to include men who desire to be women, and "man" to include women who want to be men.
Why support this nonsense? We can already see the effects and they're not good, and harmful to women and girls in particular.
> Their cause is to universally redefine "woman" to include men who desire to be women, and "man" to include women who want to be men.
This is a reductive view that presupposes gender as a pre-existing discernable static fact of a person's biology as opposed to an apparently extant human phenomena. The idea that they are the same is a profoundly simplistic view of the issue, one not supported by modern psychology or human archaeology, littered with happy societies full of folks we would now consider "gender non conforming". It's not a new cause, nor is it attempting to "redefine" anything.
> We can already see the effects and they're not good
People living authentically is great, actually. Respecting others and their preferences, also good. It genuinely doesn't hurt anyone. The effects to my life are roughly equivalent to my friend Phillip telling me he prefers Phil.
> harmful to women and girls in particular.
In very hypothetical, "just asking questions" ways that have yet to be borne out in any sensible reality. What has happened many times is cis and trans women being harassed for baseless, paranoid reasons. It's especially repugnant a defense when you consider that trans folk - trans women in particular!- are among the most vulnerable to attack and abuse.
If we were worried about harm to women and girls in a tangible, meaningful sense, we would be quick to punish actual perpetrators of verifiable assault than play feminist only when we find a more vulnerable throat to crush.
1 reply →
It's like I can't win. If I behave too feminine as a man people give weird looks to me and mockingly refer to me as a woman. A significant portion of the society still does not think men should be very effeminate.
So I am like ok, sure, I don't care much about this gender ideology, but if society does not think I am a man, then I am a woman!
Then people are not happy again. They call me a man who just wants to become a woman.
[dead]