Comment by busymom0
6 months ago
Maybe ask them after without coming across as desperate? Something like:
"Thanks for being honest and I wish you the best with your search.
If you have a moment, would you be able to give me a few suggestions on how I could improve? Is it something obvious I can work on but just not aware of? Like my breath stinks? Or clothes don't fit properly? Or I come off as rude or closed off? Of course, no pressure to answer. Just trying to figure out how I can improve myself. Thank you."
I do give feedback when they ask for it, but it ends up with a foot on the door. "But I'm not like that! But I can change! But your breath stinks too!!"
Yes that's where you gotta embrace whatever feedback they give even if you think it doesn't apply to you. Thank them for taking the time to respond and move on without arguing back.
I would lead with making it very clear that you don't ask this to make it work with this person, but to make it work with the next.
This is fantastic!
Be ready to hear things you may not like but hopefully it gives you something to work and improve on. Regardless of whether they say something offensive or rude, thank them for taking the time to respond and don't try to argue with them. Wishing you the best.