Comment by conductr

I can relate but I feel it’s actually a deficit of energy. Parenting has consumed my energy. It’s not entirely physical or mental draining but just enough constant pressure that it leaves little overhead to really dive deep into a hobby. Both my bandwidth for learning and doing has been depleted. I might have a surge of energy for a couple days but it’s hard to sustain when the choice of pushing forward means stealing from my energy that I could reserve for my family, the family always wins.

I am still interested in a lot of things and try to casually read about them or watch YouTube videos on the topic. But I don’t get hands on as much as I used too. I have the time but I’ll be less present and focused with my kids tomorrow is what I’ve learned. If I dive into something today, I’ll be extra introverted tomorrow as my brain is still spinning on it tomorrow. Yes, I have trouble context switching sometimes. My energy tomorrow will be less if I spend my time today creating versus if I am consuming which tends to be passive even if I am learning and feel like I’m being productive (I’m really not ).

I do think it will return. I’m trying to be present in my kids life at the age they want me present. Before long, they’ll have their own life and hobbies and then they’ll be out of my house. I think each of those will mark steps in my return to my former self. I was selfish with my time before because it didn’t really effect anyone, being selfish with my time now would cause me a great deal of regret and at the end of the day I value family well beyond my own interests and hobbies.