Comment by tikhonj

One more thing: when I've been in analogous situations, one of the difficulties I had was managing my own emotions. I'm still not especially good at that. But one thing that helped me was taking some concrete action to change things, even if it's small and symbolic. Just starting something—even if it means writing up some notes and setting up a meeting—immediately helped manage my own anxiety. It sounds obvious in hindsight, but it took me a while to recognize this! Now I have three coping strategies I reach for:

  - write up my thoughts and feelings—sometimes notes to myself, sometimes as docs I can share with others
  - talk to somebody—I got a lot out of having mentors to talk to in and outside my job; occasionally they gave me non-obvious advice I found useful, but mostly just talking through something really helped
  - do just *one* concrete thing about whatever is worrying me

Honestly, writing comments like this is also a coping strategy! I've repeatedly written about topics like this online and it has really helped me deal with things and work through my own ideas and observations.

In your case, the answer could well just be leaving like others are suggesting. But, even if it is, trying to do something about it at your current place might still be worth the effort in the short term. Even if things don't work out and you leave, it can make you feel better in the short term, and it's a great chance to learn how to handle this kind of situation by actually trying something. (And, in hindsight, that whole paragraph is advice I needed to give to myself just now more than advice for you or anyone else :P)