Comment by k9294

I have quite similar problems. Not at a depression level, but decent ups and downs attached to my work and satisfaction with it.

I don't feel much satisfaction in socializing, random conversations, hobbies, or relationships after the initial romance phase—they become boring. Work feels nice. My reflections and therapy have led me to realize this is more about proving self-worth and the desire to be proud of my work (for whatever broken childhood reason). It's a desire for external validation.

I haven't solved this yet. I can say that I feel happier when I go out and do activities like learning salsa dancing or participating in a debate club once a week. Though these activities work (I do feel happier), I never feel like I fit into those groups. Right after the activity ends and the free, unstructured socializing starts, people become boring... salsa people socializing (booze, dancing, shallow conversations) or debate club people (just shallow conversations). It just feels dull.

I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover - https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B004C438...

Either you'll find that it's about you and the book will highlight a lot of things, or it's not—then just toss it away. It helped me reconsider some parts of my life, as well as my behavior and attitude.