Comment by teiferer
3 days ago
> it totally sours everyone's view of you.
That's just as much failure of everybody as it is of him. This was dementia speaking and society needs to learn that.
You wouldn't tell somebody with a broken leg to get it together and it's just their personality that they can't walk. Nor should you treat dementia like that. Yes, people seem to shift personalities and anger others. But those others need to understand that it's a medical condition, an untreatable and fatal one, so should have even more sympathy than with somebody who broke a leg (cause that will likely just be temporary). Not alienate the person and speak ill of them.
Imagine that the illness in question was unremitting and excruciating (unlike a broken leg), not only for you and the your loved ones, but everyone you come into contact with. And there's no hope it will ever get any better. That's what dementia usually becomes, and that inhuman level of misery can last for years until you finally slip away.
No animal other than man would consider perpetuating that state of decline. An elephant would simply wander away to die, freeing their community from their struggle to simply keep breathing.
I agree with Kahneman, at least that we all should seriously consider the cost of allowing that level of degeneration to consume us -- and more, the pain it inevitably will inflict on our loved ones -- and plan for it while we're still compos mentis.
We are human. Unfortunately all of our experiences with others change our perception of them, no matter how much awareness of their motivations and our history with them. We can try to ignore it and have patience. Apologies can help but relationships will constantly change.
It's certainly a failure point within us and something to be aware of to make effort towards understanding our own impact as you suggest. Sadly a problem with no full solution over long enough time periods.