Comment by Desafinado
1 day ago
The opposing viewpoint is that smartphones do fill a need of the modern world, and that is that most people have been separated from their families due to the logistics of finding paying work.
Some of my relatives in the 90s, things weren't much better without smartphones. You had long distance calling and TV, or otherwise you were alone. One of my relatives attempted suicide when she was very young, you can guess why.
But yes, it obviously makes sense to use smartphones intelligently. Meta products and Tik Tok are poison for the mind. And unless you're at home it's a good idea to just shut the smartphone off.
> The opposing viewpoint is that smartphones do fill a need of the modern world, and that is that most people have been separated from their families due to the logistics of finding paying work.
I agree. Tech-minimalists seem to forget that not everybody lives in some heavenly small mountain-side commune.
The article says a lot of things about being 'present', 'mindful', 'nurturing relationships' and 'enjoying the world'.
I don't want to be present. In fact, I want the complete opposite. I want to be literally anywhere else 99.99% of the time.
If I look at my phone and get to look at nice things, talk to incredible people and imagine lots of wish-fulfillment scenarios, I can pretend for a while that not everything is absolute dogshit 24/7.
What am I supposed to enjoy, exactly?
Yep, same. For those of us living in heavily polluted industrial shitholes, in undeveloped countries, with absolutely nothing of value to do outside and no easy way to get out of the city in a reasonable amount of time, the internet is an absolute godsend. I'm pretty sure I would be an alcoholic, or wouldn't be alive at all if it wasn't available.
Smart phones are the best and the worst glued together. None of the past solutions came with a crack dealer nudging you to ruin your life and waste your time every few seconds.
Thanks for bringing this up, it's a great alternative POV.
I think what is meant is that if the phone is acting not only as an "escape" but also as a way of avoiding dealing with things or even changing them, then it is, in fact, harming you from the possibility of improving your condition.
Not for me to judge who is in that position or not, but I would definitely say many people use it as an avoidance rather than having to deal with hard stuff. Change is hard, always was, even before phones.
Playing the victim card is always easier: my life sucks, there's nothing I can do, at least my phone keeps me happier. In many cases, there is always something you can do if you are willing to put the effort. But then again, not for me to judge. Some people are in really tough places.
While completely believing what you write, hasn't it ever occured to you to try to change those things for the better? Using such a sleazy device as a phone to escape reality around you is... bad on many levels you surely are well aware of.
Its easier than ever before to move away regardless where you are, change jobs, reinvent yourself, to form relationships (I know this is much deeper topic but tools for meeting people are really ubiquous, and the rest is just a number game and some self-improvement effort), and at least do your damnest to (re)define rest of your life. Yesterday was the best time, today is second best.
> What am I supposed to enjoy, exactly?
I've spent recently 2 weeks backpacking around some pretty remote parts of Indonesia. Cheap trip, most of the cost were tickets, the rest were just coral/wreck dives. The only westerners I've met (and there were relatively many) have all exactly same bug as me - its absolutely stunning and life-redefining experience. Its not easy or pleasant some times (since you go deep into 3rd world countries with only basic infrastructure, even phone signal can be rare, internet much more so), and properly amazing at others, and the only thing you think of when coming back is how and when to do it again, more, more remote.
One of many suggestions how to make one's life much better and give it some proper motivation. Plus as said it changes you for the better, this I can guarantee 100%. There is tons of beauty in the world, just ignore the noise, politics, and people and companies gaming you for your data making humanity worse off one step at a time.
Reinventing yourself only goes so far before you bump into the political and economic reality of today.
Especially since I'm not a westerner. It's not great out here.
> There is tons of beauty in the world, just ignore the noise, politics, and people and companies gaming you for your data making humanity worse off one step at a time.
It would be easier if said politics and people didn't want people like me or my (online) friends suffering and/or dead. I avoid going outside as much as possible.
I'm not doing too badly economically, honestly. I'm extremely lucky to be able to gild my cage. Doesn't really make me happy, but I guess this is as good as it gets.
I'm the only middle-aged person I know that doesn't use/carry a smart phone (I also don't use email).
>One of my relatives attempted suicide when she was very young, you can guess why.
This misses that even more young ladies are attempting, today, albeit for entirely different reasons. I'll let you guess why.
If you don't use e-mail, what do you use for electronic one to one communication or do you write letters and sent them by post?
>Write letters and send them by post.
Lots of memes/postcards. I also have a part-time secretary (only for scheduling/mailing).
If I need to "sign up" somewhere, I use a burner/temporary email.
Free-est man alive.
2 replies →
It's not a competition between eras to see which is worse, my point is only that smartphones fill a need for isolated adults. That can be true and they can still pose a problem for teenagers, it's two separate issues.
I find most of the debate on smartphone use tends to fall on the extreme. Why not find a happy middle ground and recognize that they do have valid uses?
The most addicted family-as-a-whole to the screens I know of live literally 100m from each other (3 generations). Suffice to say this is far from their only addiction. What you describe is certainly true for some people, but I am having hard time believing this is majority. I live long term far away from family and an occasional whatsapp video call is covering our digital meeting needs.
Most people are simply too weak mentally to resist various self-forming addictions and don't care about these topics at all.
It isn't so much about the smartphone replacing family as it is about phones giving us something to do in our homes in lieu of the presence of other people.
Even a family that lives close to each other is separated in space by different homes and will often find themselves alone. But their situation will be much better than someone with no family around. They have the option to see each other, many don't.
I think the more detailed point is that we're largely atomized these days into separate physical spaces where we're often alone, or confined to a small number of people. Smartphones and computers make it a hell of a lot easier to break through that problem.