Comment by walkabout

Around 2013 I was handling bursts up to thousands of requests per second for multi-megabyte file downloads with dynamic authentication using just PHP5, Apache2, and Haproxy, with single-node MySQL (or may have been MariaDB, by then?) as the database, and Redis for caching. On a single mid-range rented server. And Haproxy was only there for operational convenience, you could cut it out and it'd work just as well. No CDN. Rock solid.

My joke but not-actually-a-joke is that the Cloud is where you send a workload that's fast on your laptop, if you need it to be way slower. The performance of these fussy, over-complicated, hard-to-administer[1] systems is truly awful for the price.

[1] They're hypothetically simpler and easier to administer, but I've never seen this in the wild. If anything, we always seem to end up with more hours dedicated to care & feeding of this crap, and more glitchiness and failures, than we would with a handful of rented servers with maybe a CDN in front.