Comment by jancsika

That initial fixation on "position in the [social] hierarchy" in #1 can counterintuitively become self-defeating. Many people look at tricks of "climbing the social ladder" as potential signs of narcissism and instinctively steer clear. Unfortunately, that scoops up a lot of people like the author who just desperately wanted to break through an awkward adolescence!

Also counterintuitively, just giving up on that goal often leads to much more fruitful and lasting friendships. "Hi, I'm author. I'm abrasive and abrupt, excitable and sensitive. Interacting with me could be exhausting. Would you like to try? Please say yes or no."

Seriously, HN: if you saw one guy saying that to people, and another playing a ukelele at you as he "tells dramatics stories" about his life, which one would you choose to interact with?