Comment by voidhorse

You want to know why "social connection" is difficult? Because actually social connection is not a generalize abstraction you get good at.

I see this increasingly in contemporary society. People increasingly tackle certain aspects of their life as generalized problems to solve. They want to "get better at social connection" or "be more athletic" or "be more productive". None of these things are ends in themselves. This is a tendency toward egocentrism and needless abstraction that plagues a lot of people.

In reality, life consists of concrete things. We can only become more productive once we have an actual goal in mind. Talking about productivity in the abstract is meaningless. We cannot determine our social connections in advance. We have or desire certain or more friends, we want to improve certain relationships. By starting from such an abstract place as "wanting to connect" or "being socially normal" you are basically doomed from the start. Connect with who? What is normal? These are not generalized problems to solve, they are rather determined by others. Viewing them this way stinks of main character syndrome—you don't actually care about or value other people, you view all of life through the lens of yourself and see all possible engagements as little more than reflections on your own personal player "stats". Yearning to "connect" with "people" is a completely meaningless and empty desire.

The atomization of individuals and hyperindividualism caused this. Social anxieties and struggles to learn how to properly socialize arise the more isolated we become, and the more distant and rare our interactions with others become. People raised in highly group-oriented and community focused environments don't have these issues to nearly the same degree, for obvious reasons—they learn how to actually care about other people, rather than view life as nothing more than "my personal journey" or as a challenge for nothing other than self-oriented improvement or self enlightenment.