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Comment by squigz

2 months ago

> Sometimes, when we talk to people about problems, we're "giving them the problem", as in, we want them to tell us what to do about it, or to actually do something about it. They often can't or won't do that - it's your thing. Therapists won't take it either, but they'll help you manage it as your thing.

I actually think that, most of the time, people just want someone to listen. But there's something in our culture that injects that need to "give advice" instead of "just listen."

> if the ask is just to listen

We need to swap this default around. People should need to request advice/help, not request that they listen.

> But there's a lot of stuff people go through where that isn't enough, and asking those same people to do more is probably not going to work.

Certainly - but in my experience just talking about those things can be hugely beneficial, and sure, it would be great if they'd go to a therapist for those things - but as discussed, therapy still has a ways to go toward being accessible to everyone. In the meantime, if someone needs to vent about something, we should be here to listen*

* - up to a point, of course. There's a lot of nuance and lines to walk here that I feel I'm not addressing properly, but