Comment by sandreas

Maybe I share my story here to give you another perspective on this.

I was a higher role solution architect in a kind of start-up-ish fast growing company with a great team and great opportunities. I worked there for a long time, everything went fine. We welcomed our daughter and I kept working until one day they decided to board in an external investor. I knew this was gonna blow up (not for the company but for the employees) and it did. Within months nearly 1/4 of the good ones left the company and it was a nightmare to be in.

I decided to change things a bit and applied for a "Developer only" Job in a bigger company and also reduced my work schedule to 70% to be with my kid. I think this was probably the best decision in my life. My daugther (and now my son) are such an awesome persons and spending time with them teaching her stuff and playing around is WAY more fulfilling than a job could ever be.

And after the second child it's clear that I'm needed at home. There was so little time left for "maintaining" the relationship in the first 2 years, that I can't even think of leaving my wife alone with all this work. Now I can't think of a world where I'm not there as a father, having two awesome and cute children - sometimes it's hard, but most of the time it is very rewarding.

So the verdict is:

Work can be fulfilling in a way, but your employer is not loyal or forgiving - it's about business and you are a number, regardless if it feels like you are respected and missed, it is only good leadership and you are most likely replaceable.

On the other hand there is your family. They decided to spend their LIFE with you and are (or should be) always there for you. They are always loyal and forgiving...

Welcoming children is like putting away your ego. You are responsible for other humans now and it is time to put on the big boy panties and sail out to the deep water.

I would never prefer a career over my family unless we're totally broke and I need to take care of getting the food on the table to survive - in that case I would work my ass off but if it comes this far, a fancy AI startup your last problem.