Comment by godelski

I think an important thing to add is that users don't always know how to properly complain. So a difficulty is figuring out what they actually want. They're on the outside looking in, so don't know all the details but they can express that they have a problem. It can often be hard, and frustrating, to figure out what that problem actually is but if they're communicating then it is usually not too difficult to diffuse the situation. As long as they feel you are trying to understand.

Another part is that we're breeding a society of Karens. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease". The wheels not squeaking aren't getting regular maintenance or care. No one is incentivized to ask nicely but people are strongly being incentivized to scream. To generalize outside software: a loyal customer gets standard service but Karen gets a discount or something free just to make her go away. It's natural that we do that but it's the wrong reward system. When you reward a dog when they stop barking they only learn to bark.