Comment by 6thbit

5 hours ago

I came to the same conclusions as the author. Then I tried something like this and failed to get people interested.

It’s draining for me to reach out to try and convince people, not sure if the social anxiety or the lack of executive functioning.

Any tips for someone that understands and wants community but struggles with the building process?

7 comments

6thbit

nunez 2 hours ago

I'll answer your question with a question. In the past, I would have recommended finding a Meetup on some activity you enjoy. Meetup isn't as popular anymore (another victim of COVID and WFH culture), but the spirit of the idea is sound. Are there apps or services that fill that void these days?

abirch 4 hours ago

  1) Do something you enjoy *and* that others in your area enjoy.
  2) Look for opportunities to be a first follower: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ
  3) Build a routine. E.g., this event will happen every 2nd Tuesday of the month.

deadbabe 5 hours ago

I think you must be charismatic and somewhat attractive to inspire people to come hang around you. People will likely assume any event you invite them to will have other people that are similar to you, and by extension, if they are hanging around you it must mean they aspire to be similar to you.

throw4847285 4 hours ago
This is the most jaundiced, obviously false, and self-pitying statement I have maybe ever encountered. Have you seen a group of people paint Warhammer figurines together? Or do Gunpla? Or play a roleplaying game? Are they cool and attractive? No! Are they having fun and bonding? Yes! The only incentive one would ever have to deny this is self-loathing covering up a fear of rejection. Go out there and do something dorky with people.
- deadbabe 4 hours ago
  
  All I'm saying is if you're going to invite people to something dorky, you will have better success if they are dorks.
  
  1 reply →
nickthegreek 4 hours ago

If you can throw money at it, you can offset attractiveness and to some degree, personality. Having a sweet home theater, indoor pool, or gaming room/bar can go a long way to creating an inviting environment for others.