Comment by largbae
2 days ago
From observing my parents and other elders, it isn't "work" in the job sense that we all need. It is feeling needed by others. This can be accomplished by being an active grandparent, charity(active volunteering not just allocating money), open-source contribution, mentoring.
It can be something other than a job. It just can't be done alone.
We are social creatures and need to be needed by each other. Luckily there are plenty of people in need.
My grandmother said it like this, "sometimes people need to help more than people need help" in the context of a much younger me asking effectively why she bothered (I forget the context). That has stuck with me for years.
This is a common misconception. I’m quite happy not being social and have absolutely no need to be needed.
I FIREd 3 years ago and don’t miss working one bit.
I think leaving work becomes more difficult for those who do need to feel valued and especially if they don’t have interests outside of it. There are many people like that.
Totally, it's "work" in the sense that you're doing something to contribute to the world, even if it's something small or mostly unimpactful. Those kinds of things provide internal fulfillment, in my experience.
> It is feeling needed by others.
A more general need from what I see is to engage with and to accomplish non-trivial things.
For some it might be helping others people, for others it might be learning, researching or creating.
To each their own.
> It is feeling needed by others.
My perspective on these things have changed when I saw a successful old friend of mine thank his friend for asking his help. I feel like being asked to help by a friend might actually be a privilege sometimes.
I think it definitely is - simply because it means you are approachable enough (and knowledgable enough) that people feel both comfortable enough to ask and see you as a reliable resource.
>> We are social creatures and need to be needed by each other.
I think this was illustrated well in the movie I Am Legend with Will Smith. He creates artificial situations where he is interacting with mannequins in order to fulfill this very basic need.
Its interesting that this part of the movie was missed by a lot of friends and family until I pointed it out to them.
Exactly, the prevalence of the word "work" in this conversation is such a telling indicator of what 'western' culture-at-large has been taught to focus on
I agree with this, although I prefer to phrase it as "being useful to others (and appreciated)".
I'd think this is universal but it's interesting to see others in this thread that disagree.
To nitpick a little bit, it’s not just feeling needed by others, but also doing things that are meaningful.
"If you want to stay youthful stay useful!"