Comment by olyjohn
1 month ago
Yeah except being passive aggressive actually tends to escalate the situation. Because sometimes people will just respond to a polite question, but now you've just been the same asshole to them, so there is a higher chance that they're just going to get offended.
The whole PA phenomenology originates from the military, where hierarchy prevents direct confrontation. So subordinates lash out in ways that are harder to counter. I feel like it's a similar dynamic here.
Absolutely, but the key word in the GP's use of "avoid direct confrontation" is direct. Being passive-aggressive is indirect, and even if it's more likely to cause an escalation, to many people it feels safer, even if it really isn't.