Comment by vacuity
1 day ago
I agree with your descriptions of the terms, but I think there's often a divergence between empathy (which I find great) and reflecting people's feelings (which I find good with caution). I want people to understand and help each other. But in some situations, reflecting people's feelings encourages them to make poor decisions. I should always provide a space for people to speak without scorn and with understanding, but I don't want to give a false impression of my concerns. Acknowledging that someone's life sucks is subtly different from acknowledging it aloud, and sometimes the subtlety is crucial.
Reflecting peoples feelings is sometimes called "showing sympathy."
Sympathy means expressing pity or sorrow at someone's plight. Reflecting feelings is more like a form of empathy. It's clarifying and/or paraphrasing the feelings so that the other person feels like they're heard and taken seriously. They're orthogonal behaviours - you can do one or the other or both.
I agree that I should understand the other person and take them seriously, and to convey this to the other person. However, sometimes verbal reflection serves the purpose of blind affirmation. I don't think the verbal component, construed this way, is so productive for empathy.