Comment by codelikeawolf

I've been in therapy for over a year and one of the most valuable things I've learned as a fellow "problem solver" is to run through the "three H's" when something comes up:

1. Do you want to be Helped? 2. Do you want to be Heard? 3. Do you want to be Hugged?

I'm still trying to get in the habit of using this approach more often with my partner, and as I do, it has noticeably improved our relationship. It turns out most of the time, she just wants to be hugged.