Comment by lukan
2 hours ago
"Tldr is, people find fulfillment without children easier nowadays"
Do they? Or have most just become too distorted to feel allright filling their emptiness with empty online debates and netflix?
I know people who are really happy without kids (and who will never have them), but the majority is rather miserably lonely when you look past the facade. And with many, there isn't even a facade.
> but the majority is rather miserably lonely when you look past the facade
People make their own choices, and it’s not up to me, nor you, to make assumptions on their lives. If children give you fulfilment, god speed to you. If others can find happiness without children, god speed to them.
By the way, I’m speaking as a person who wants children. But I totally get my child-free friends. I know people in their 60s as well, who debated this question and found a life for themselves. There is always a “what if question” hanging around, but all in all, they’ve weighed their options and are generally happy.
I think a lot of people who ended up having children to find fulfilment did not find happiness in other means. So they can’t experience the “other side’s argument”. Same applies to child-free people, as they haven’t experienced the other side.
The parents aren't lonely, but they're tired and mostly miserable.
I haven't asked "why should I even try" in ages. The question "how do I even manage this hell" has been on my mind more often.
Well, unfortunately I also have asked myself that question way too often, but I cannot agree on the "mostly miserable" part when comparing childless single persons and parents. Life can be hell, but with kids you don't ask the question so much why even get up - because the purpose is clear. There are people depending and counting on you.
> but with kids you don't ask the question so much why even get up - because the purpose is clear.
No question about that. My life has become simpler in many ways: the annoying big questions have gone away.
Kids are a cheat code to finding fulfilment. Some rare people are able to make it themselves, but they are the exception. I think most people who post on social media about living their best DINK lives are either lying to us, themselves, or have never experienced fulfilment and confuse it with margaritas on the couch with Netflix.